Written by Isabel Clift
You don’t have to have been born in London to call yourself a Londoner. You just have to nod and relate to these 15 unofficial-but-true facts…
1. You have two personalities: ‘real’ you and ‘tube’ you. Your mother wouldn’t recognise ‘tube’ you sometimes.
For more tube truisms, Play the Tube Game on London Underground’s 150th Birthday
2. Paying £8 for a single G&T and a fiver for a pint doesn’t even raise an eyebrow.
3. You feel sorry for anyone who lives outside zone two.
4. You will queue an hour for a burger/ramen/mac ‘n’ cheese in a place with McDonalds-level-of-comfort chairs and other peoples’ conversations foghorning over your meal. (Eg: Spuntino, MEATliquor, Tonkotsu, Pitt Cue Co., Rita’s, 10 Greek Street, Ducksoup, etc, etc…)
5. You know the individual awfulness of the layouts of every Tesco Extra, Sainsbury’s Express and M&S Simply Food in a mile radius from work, plus can identify each one’s self check-out machine voice.
6. Friday night dinner, if eaten at all, is a discount sandwich bought at said mini-supermarket between work and the pub.
7. You will develop rabid loyalty to the one good Kiwi-run coffee shop near your home/job, and recommend it to friends like you’re passing on state secrets.
8. If you buy advance tickets for a club night, the venue will be: ‘TBA – East London Warehouse’.
9. You pointedly overtake slow-walking people to ‘show them.’
10. You’ve never done one of those indoor tours of Buckingham Palace people queue hours for in summer.
11. You only visit the world’s greatest free museums – The Natural History Museum, The National Gallery – as a cute, vaguely ironic second date activity.
12. You would never go to Topshop/Topman Oxford Circus on a weekend.
13. You’ve heard the term “totes amaze,” used in all seriousness out loud.
14. You have seen these things on the night bus:
- A man sitting on his own, playing very tinny, unequivocally bad music at full volume from his phone.
- A drunk group singing in a way that could only be described as aggressive, or malevolent.
- A man sleeping through the alarm he set to wake up close to his stop.
- A girl crying next to her silent boyfriend.
15. Despite years of ingrained cynicism, your mood will still be raised a notch at the view when crossing Waterloo Bridge…
Agree/disagree? Tell me other ways you know you’re a Londoner in the comments…
- 40 London Bars Recommended by Local Bloggers
- The London Street Food Guide
- 10 Best London Pubs
- The 10 Best Clubs in London